Adjusting to TWO, Ryan’s Job, Expenses

So no one told me it would be easy and I never thought it would be, but it seems like this summer hit me pretty hard.   First we had to fork over $6800 for a new AC/Heat Pump and that was before Charlee even got here.  Then Ryan went back to work and started working Saturdays and late almost every night if not every other at least not getting home til 7pm or even 8pm some nights.  Then he’s gone Sunday mornings for Worship team.  Needless to say I was feeling the burn of some “single parenthood” right after bringing home a new baby.  Adjusting to having 2 has been hard for me.  I think its mainly all timing of everything though.  If Lily wasn’t entering her “terrible 2’s” and if Ryan’s job wasn’t so crazy and if we didn’t have to fork out almost $7K while still trying to pay medical bills…it wouldn’t seem so overwhelming would it?  I guess I will never know. 

When did life get so overwhelming?  I have to at least say that the last 5 years we have had it pretty good.  God has blessed our marriage since the beginning.  We have never really had any issues financially or with anything else really.  So now is the time I guess for God to be testing me.  However, I already felt like He tested me with my pregnancy by putting me on bed rest for the last month.  Now its patience in dealing with my sweet 2 year old who definitely knows how to push mommy’s buttons and patience in being content with Ryan’s job.  I want to be able to say “oh I need to just be thankful he has a job and that he enjoys it”  sure easy enough.  I am THANKFUL.  But that doesn’t mean that it still isn’t hard on me.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t miss him when he’s gone or that I just long to be able to have a Saturday together as a family.  I do.  And I think I am entitled to feel this way after just having a baby.  My emotions have definitely gotten the better of me this summer.  Sometimes I don’t even know why I am crying.  Just being overwhelmed at times.  God tells me “HEY” you need to slow down and just breathe ME in!  And that has been my life line.  I had sorta set aside my personal quiet time right after Charlee was born and I don’t doubt that by not spending time in the word and not spending time in prayer it made my struggle even worse.  So the last 3 weeks I have been doing it every morning after feeding Charlee at 5 or 6am before I go back to sleep.  And let me tell you it has made a huge difference to my day!  Imagine that!  I knew it would.  I just needed to get in the habit of doing it again and making it a priority. 

Life seems to be settling down again.  Ryan had this past Saturday off and we enjoyed time together as a family then got to spend time just us.  I will never again think about Saturdays home with the family the same way again.  The time is precious.  I am sure that God longs to be with me the way that I long to have Ryan home and time together as a family.  Wow but what a way to give a girl a wake up call!  I hear ya!  Loud and clear.  Thank you Jesus! 

Now its just the waiting game again.  Waiting to hear either this week or next week where JE Dunn will be sending Ryan next.  I pray that its close to home.  Really anywhere would have to be closer than Warrensburg at this point.  But ultimately I pray that Ryan will enjoy his next project and that it won’t take away anymore of his time with his family.  Because I am sure he’s sick of hearing how tired I am of him coming home late.  I know its not his fault but sometimes a girl just has to VENT!  And that’s kinda what I am doing now too I guess.  So thanks for listening….er reading!

Charlee's Arrival- Summer- Trusting God

Well it has been awhile since I have written an update.  Obviously because Charlee was born and I haven't had much time to get on the computer.
I wanted to tell a brief story of how she got here.
Sunday May 23rd I started having mild contractions in the afternoon and they progressed to the point that I did end up calling my doctor.  They were 8-12 minutes apart and lasting about 20 sec.  I was told to call when I had more than 4 in an hour.  She advised that I take a warm bath which actually did help but as soon as I got out they came back.  Thankfully they didn't happen all night.  But they did start back up Monday (24th) morning so I called back and she had me go ahead and make an appointment to come see her.  They hooked me up to the non-stress test machine and tracked my contractions.  They were showing as mild and I was not dialated so she sent me home with "pre-labor" contractions that I would just have to deal with til my C-section the next morning.
As Monday went on into the evening the contractions got worse.  In fact from about 8pm on they were pretty intense and after midnight they became closer together and longer.  I wasn't able to sleep at all and about 2am I decided it was time to go to the hospital because they were every 3-5 minutes apart and lasting for over a minute each.  So I showered and we got everything in the van and Ryan's dad came to be with Lily so we could head to the hospital.  I had strong contractions the whole way to the hospital.  It was about 3:15am once we got there.  They hooked me up to the machines and started a fluid IV to see if they could slow them down.  I was fine waiting til 7:30am for the C-section as long as they could give me something for the pain until then.  After about an hour or so the fluids were not working so they called the on-call surgeon which happened to be the doctor that did my c-section with Lily.  I am certain this was God's doing.  At 5am they decided to go ahead and do the c-section at 5:30am.  They quickly got me prepped and gave me my spinal block which didn't hurt hardly at all.  This time around was strange to be so alert and not in pain while they got me ready for the surgery.  As soon as the meds kicked in I no longer felt my contractions.  My doctor arrived and they started the surgery on time.  However, there was something unusual about my surgery, according to the doctors and nurses.  Without going into too much detail about it.  My intestines were not where they were supposed to be and they had adhered to my uterus.  So to get Charlee out they had to detach them and rearrange them where they were supposed to go.  The doctors said they had never seen anything like this before.  And with that there would be a greater risk for an illeus like last time.  In order to prevent further issues down the road they had to do this and they put a cheese cloth between my uterus and my intestines to prevent them from adhering again.  Charlee was then born at 5:49am.   Weighing in at 7 lbs 11.8 oz and 19.5 inches long.  Perfectly healthy!  I am so thankful that we had the surgeon we did because the lady that we were supposed to have apparently was worried after hearing about my post-op 2 week illeus after my first c-section.  Not exactly what you want to hear from someone who would be doing major surgery on you.
After the surgery everything went well I was able to go home on time without any issues and I have not had any issues since then.   Praise the Lord!
Charlee has since passed her birth weight weighing in at 7 lbs. 15 oz on Tuesday.  I sure wish her belly button stump would fall off so I can do her newborn pics and Lily's 2 year portraits.  Hopefully this week.

As far as this summer goes.  I am trying to stay positive and not complain about the fact that Ryan is most likely going to be working every Saturday through the middle of August.  I know I should be thankful he has a job and that he will be getting overtime which will help pay for the new air conditioner/heat pump we just had to buy.  But when will we get to do stuff together as a family?  When will we get to go swimming?  Or to the Zoo?  I guess we will have to wait til August.  I just am sad because this means he will not get as much time with Charlee as I know he would like.  But God is good and I know that we are blessed by Him by Ryan getting this job.  And who knows maybe his reward for driving that far and working that much will be that his next job will be closer to home.  Like maybe a 30 minute or less drive!  That would be my prayer but I know we should just be thankful that he has work and that he will have a job to move to once this project is complete.  God give me patience and understanding!

Lady in Waiting

So as much as I don't want to admit it I am fairly certain that we will be going to 39 Weeks.  After this week's tests and blood pressure check I am fairly certain that I am not preeclamptic this time around.  Which is a good thing.  It actually gives us hope for the next pregnancy which we were unsure about.  I think a lot of what has happened with my blood pressure this pregnancy has been "worry" induced because of what happened with my first pregnancy (emergency c-section at 35 weeks due to severe preeclampsia).  That being said I am encouraged that with me not having it this pregnancy that our chances will be even less in the next pregnancy.  Because I wasn't ready to say this is it for us.  I'd like to at least try for a boy next.  Now we may wait longer than having them 2 years apart.  Like maybe waiting til Charlee is out of diapers before we have another one.  That would make things easier if I am to be put on bed rest again for any reason.
So I am operating on the assumption that I have 2 more weeks of bed rest until little Charlee's arrival.  Some things that make me sad about this are that now I won't be having another little baby like Lily was.  But at least she will be healthy and full term.  We won't be able to participate in Life Spring's child dedication service Sunday May 23rd with my friends who had babies this past year.  I've had to miss out on family gatherings and will be missing out on more in the next coming weeks.  My recovery is now going to get pushed back which might prevent me from doing some things that I could if we had her this week.  Like I won't be able to swim this summer until July now.  But those are all just reasons, not good excuses for wishing this pregnancy be over.  I want her to get as much time as she needs in there and now I know that's what God has planned for us at this point.  There's a reason my protein wasn't high enough.  There's a reason my blood pressure couldn't get high enough yesterday at the doctor.  God does not want Charlee to be born yet.  And now that I have accepted that I know that He's in control and whatever complications can still happen at this point I know that He is in charge and not me.  And now I actually have time to read the books for our Women's Ministry book club this summer.  I wasn't sure if I'd have time to read the first one with Charlee arriving this week but now with 2 more weeks of bed rest I should be able to.  Currently Reading: